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Captioned Images Series: Like, Totally Cursed
Created: 02/21/2025
Nathaniel Graves was a man of discipline, power, and precision. As CEO of Graves Financial, he had built his career on numbers, logic, and a commanding presence. His deep baritone voice alone could silence a boardroom.
That was… until last night.
His teenage daughter, Sophie, had been trying to explain something to him at dinner—some ridiculous drama about her friends, some new slang she used that made no sense. He had barely paid attention, grunting disapprovingly at her rambling speech. Finally, with a huff, Sophie muttered under her breath, “I wish Dad understood what I’m talking about.”
Nathaniel hadn’t thought much of it at the time.
Now, sitting at his desk the next morning, he found himself muttering:
“This profit margin is, like, low-key not great.”
He froze.
His assistant, Leonard, glanced up with confusion. “Sorry, sir?”
Nathaniel cleared his throat. “I mean, uh… The profit margin is… um, literally kinda bad?”
His brow furrowed. That wasn’t right.
Brushing it off as a slip of the tongue, he continued reviewing reports. But as the day wore on, strange words kept slipping into his speech.
In his morning meeting, he caught himself saying, “Ugh, these numbers are, like, giving flop energy.”
A few employees exchanged glances. Someone stifled a cough.
Nathaniel clenched his jaw. He was in control. He was always in control.
At lunch, he stepped into the break room, grabbed a cup of coffee, and muttered to himself, “OMG, this smells sooo good.”
OMG?!
His pulse quickened.
As he returned to his office, he tried to push it out of his mind, but his voice… his voice was starting to sound different. Higher. Softer.
It wasn’t just what he was saying—it was how he was saying it.
By the afternoon board meeting, it was undeniable.
Nathaniel stood at the head of the table, staring at a chart, trying to focus. But when he opened his mouth, what came out was:
“Okayyy, soooo, like, we totally need to fix these projections because, like, no offense, but this strategy is giving major cringe.”
Silence.
His executives stared in horror.
Nathaniel blinked rapidly. His hands felt clammy. His voice had risen even higher, teetering on the edge of something unnatural.
Brian, one of the VPs, hesitated. “Sir, did you just say… cringe?”
Nathaniel rolled his eyes. “Uh, yeah, Brian, duh.”
More silence.
Something was very wrong.
Nathaniel inhaled sharply. He had to take control of this. He was a businessman, a leader. He was not going to lose himself to some bizarre speech affliction.
He took a deep breath. “Listen, besti—”
He choked
Bestie.
BESTIE?!
He tried to salvage it. “I mean—uh—y’all—”
No. That wasn’t right either.
The words coming out of his mouth weren’t his anymore. They were hers.
Sophie’s.
His hands clenched the table as his heart pounded. He had to pull himself together.
“So, like, if we slay this quarter, we are gonna be soooo iconic, right?”
More horrified stares.
Nathaniel frowned. Why were they looking at him like that?
Leonard adjusted his glasses. “Sir, I think you—”
“Oh my gosh, why are you talking so weird?” Nathaniel interrupted, squinting at him. “Like, seriously, what’s up with your vibe?”
Leonard’s face paled.
Nathaniel looked around. “Wait. Are… are you guys okay? Why are you all speaking, like, super slow and monotone? Like, be so fr.”
Brian looked helplessly at the others. “Sir, we’re speaking normally.”
Nathaniel scoffed. “Um, no you’re not? You sound totally off, like some kinda NPC.”
It wasn’t just his own speech anymore. They were the ones talking strangely. Their words were dull, lifeless, robotic. He was the only one making sense.
The more they spoke, the harder it was to understand them. They were using weird, outdated words, structuring their sentences all wrong. Why were they making everything so complicated?
His frustration bubbled over.
“You guys, like, seriously need to fix your grammar or whatever, ‘cause I can’t even with this right now.”
Leonard took a slow step back. “Sir, I think maybe you should—”
Nathaniel groaned. “Ugh, stoppp, you sound so weird. Like, ew.”
His voice was fully transformed now—high-pitched, bubbly, and effortlessly dramatic.
Then, it hit him.
He wasn’t the one talking weird.
They were.
He crossed his arms. “Ugh, whatever. I can’t even deal. You’re all being, like, sooo sus right now.”
The executives watched in frozen terror as their once-intimidating CEO turned on his heel and stomped dramatically out of the room.
Nathaniel strutted down the hallway, flipping through his phone. He needed to call Sophie.
He needed to talk to someone who actually made sense.
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